Death and Birth

Today's post is a little more reflective than studious. Yesterday I was told that my friend and co-leader lost her son in a motorcycle accident.

As a mother I was instantly affected. My heart is broken for her. And for her 9 year old daughter who is my own daughter's friend. I ache for them both.

And it makes me wonder why... as I think anyone wonders, anyone asks, when they're faced with the death of someone so young. What is the purpose of a life lost before it has hardly begun?

But death has to happen, doesn't it?

So I read some Buddhist blogs on death and rebirth and I'm not sure anything can really answer that question of why. Why does my friend have to suffer the loss of her son? Why does my daughter's friend at 9 years old have to suffer the loss of her big brother? All of his friends and all of his family and even people who only knew of him through stories and pictures... why?

Maybe there is no reason. Maybe it just is. That's the best conclusion I can come to.

According to many Buddhists, Kyle has already started a new life, and did so the moment after he took his last breath. And maybe that's true... maybe Kyle has already been reborn. Maybe he is waiting, watching after his mother and sister and making sure they get through this grief. I like to think that's the case.

Today my husband's cousin and one of my closest friends gave birth to a baby boy. It was not an easy delivery and her baby was in distress. It was horribly scary, but both he and mom made it through in the end and both are healthy and safe. I was lucky enough to be there and able to see him shortly after his arrival. Such a fresh, beautiful face with so much promise and future.

I guess it just really makes me think... all this death and birth and rebirth. How amazing and precious life is. How no one is in control and it's all fragile.

It's been a long day. One mother is celebrating and one is mourning. It just leaves a lot to think about.

Let's try this again, shall we?

Obviously I put my studies on hold for a long time.

But as I said before, I have my whole life (and subsequent ones!) to learn.

So today I started to read The Illustrated Dhammapada (a HUGE pdf file, but very worth it) and I find it to be much easier to read than my previous Dhammapada study. So I'll be combining them both.

In The Story of the Monk Cakkhupala, the Buddha tells the story of the blind monk Cakkhupala who accidentally stepped on some insects while pacing during meditation. Some other monks reported this act to the Buddha and the Buddha tells them that since Cakkhupala did not see the insects and did not intentionally kill them, he was innocent.

I like this because it really shows Right Intention. Even though sometimes Right Intention doesn't always work out, it's still the right thing to do. Cakkhupala was practicing Right Intention in his pacing meditation. Killing the insects was accidental and does not change his intention.

The story goes on to tell us why Cakkhupala is blind. In a previous life Cakkhupala was a physician who deliberately made a patient blind. So in turn, in several lives afterward, Cakkhupala is blind.

"All that we experience begins with thought. Our words and
deeds spring from thought. If we speak or act with evil
thoughts, unpleasant circumstances and experiences inevita-
bly result. Wherever we go, we create bad circumstances
because we carry bad thoughts. We cannot shake off this suf-
fering as long as we are tied to our evil thoughts. This is very
much like the wheel of a cart following the hoofs of the ox
yoked to the cart. The cart-wheel, along with the heavy load of
the cart, keeps following the draught oxen. The animal is
bound to this heavy load and cannot leave it."

So we must let go of our evil thoughts. Easier said than done. In Christian religions, this is why people pray for their enemies. Harboring evil thoughts and hatred causes internal sickness.

In my own practice I'll be using meditation to release evil thoughts. I can think of a few areas in my life where I hold on to negative energy and bad thinking. It takes time and practice, I'm sure, to learn to automatically not turn a bad situation into a bad thought.

I found some interesting thoughts in the Commentary section of this 1st verse. This particular Dhammapada is translated and commented by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero.

He says that Buddhism teaches us that all that we experience, the world, ourselves, the universe, was created by thought. So many Buddhist texts state that the Buddha doesn't mention the world's creation - and because of this I had come to the conclusion in my own mind that it didn't matter how the world was created or whether there was or wasn't a "God"... but I'll have to pause and think about this idea that the world is created by thought or cognitive process.

Because where, then, did the first thought originate from?

I like the idea because it lends credibility to the idea that "God" lives within each of us and that we are all "God" and all connected. It brings in those ideas that are so popular now (Eckhart Tole and The Secret and The Power of Positive Thinking) that I find myself drawn to. And I find myself comforted by that idea.

So to conclude for today and to bring a focus to my meditations for the day:
We must practice Right Intention
We must let go of negative or "evil" thoughts
All that exists is created by thoughts

"Don't try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist;
use it to be a better whatever-you-already-are."
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama